Social this, social that - social commerce, social media, social capital; social everything. That's what life is all about.
I'm not the only one talking social for the sake of social - in other words, putting people first. I've been saying it's about the people, not the technology, for over four years. In essence, every business action you take is about the people. Hence, my passion for marketing to women. As people, we're a powerful bunch of...human beings. And, we're smart. And we're social. Really social.
Let's look at this "social" thing. I'm calling it a "thing" because social is now applied to almost everything we do online, whether it's actually social, or not. For instance, participating in a contest isn't necessarily social - it's an activity and we're participating because we want to win something. Many times, it's no different than playing the lottery. Would you call that a social activity? (winning is social - because if you win a big lottery, you will suddenly be very popular, with people you don't even know, but who want to know you!)
Yesterday I was reading an article on tips for optimizing your Facebook page. All well and good. If you are on Facebook, (and who isn't?), you should optimize your presence there - the better to connect with your audience, whomever they may be. One suggestion was to create and promote a Fan page. Deliver me from fan pages, please! How many fan pages can I be a fan of? Seriously? I'm connected to thousands of people online, a few hundred on LinkedIn and Facebook, and a few thousand on Twitter and my blog. If everyone wants me to be a fan - of them, their recent marketing event, or just their favorite offline hang-out (which has a fan page of its own)...HOW do I do that and maintain any sort of connection?
Oh please! I'm not in favor of being a fan of being a fan just because a bunch of other people I know are fans. "Become a Fan of XYZ," Facebook says, "3 of your friends are fans." So what? And yet, experts say this is a successful way to use Facebook. Of course, careful consideration and a clear-cut strategy is what the experts suggest, to begin with. Which means fan pages MIGHT work. For awhile.
On LinkedIn, it's groups. I'm a member of probably a dozen groups on LinkedIn. They're good groups. I joined them because they offer insight and connections in an area I'm part of - women, pets, marketing, and thought leadership. So, I get about a dozen emails a day from these groups. I'm being advised, by the experts, to respond - hop over to LinkedIn and join the conversation. When? When am I supposed to do this?
In-between Twitter posts? Or, in-between getting something done for my clients? Or, during the one hour a day I have to prospect for new clients? Or, maybe late at night, when I should be sleeping because studies show that lack of sleep makes you less effective!
During a client meeting this week I was told (by someone who doesn't even use it) that "Twitter is in trouble. More people are abandoning their accounts, than are signing up new accounts," this person said, with a gleam in her eye. (She is totally against Twitter and blogs and all manner of "social media".) I smiled and said, "Yeah, I know." Then I changed the subject. Because it doesn't matter. If Twitter is in twouble...sorry, couldn't resist... so what? Something will come along to take its place. Something new will be the darling of the tech-set (remember the jet-set? people who travelled all over the world because they could? well, they've been replaced by the tech-set, people who are first-movers in technology and lord it over all their friends, the very way the jet-set lorded it over...the 'little' people). 
There is no right answer to how to handle the proliferation of social media/networking/community building/membership sites popping up all over the net. No more than there is an answer to how to keep teenagers from sexting. People will do whatever people can do - to get attention. People of all ages.
If you're confused about all of this...if you want to do what's right...if you think the world is passing you by because you're not blogging, or Twittering, or joining fan pages on Facebook, or asking questions on LinkedIn... calm down. Nothing is passing you by. Do what a person of your background should do. Choose to participate where you feel you will get the most benefit and where you will GIVE the most benefit. Never forget to touch your audience - speak to them in their language, hang-out where they hang-out, treat them with the respect they deserve, and appeal to the people-side of their nature.
Just as being social offline means choosing which network events to attend, which conferences to speak at, which groups of people to befriend (being a friend is not the same as being an acquaintance, just to make that clear), if you look at the social aspect of being online and joining these interactive "places" you'll see they aren't a lot different. You need to be judgmental - because, as someone far more philosophical than I, once said, "No man [or women] is an island."
I leave you with this - the best advice I've heard to date: set up a Twitter account and follow the 10 or 20 most important people in your industry who are on Twitter. DON'T worry about being followed back. Just watch what they tweet - and you will learn what you need to learn, to make sense of all of this.
And, don't forget to call your Mother now and then. On the phone.
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