It has been happening since some time now. Lately it increased.
I am talking about folks seeking my time, industry experience and resources to get them started.
Sidetrack: I just saw Paris Hilton talking about her show My new BFF at the Jimmy Kimmel Show- and she said many contestants had turned out to be "hungry tigers"- she did not mean it in the positive sense (this is Paris Hilton- guys) but used the phrase to address ambitious contestants who seemed pretty OK in the beginning but showed their true colors as the show progressed- Hungry tigers who would throw everything out of the window to get what they wanted.
Now I don't have much in common with Ms Hilton. If I ran a show like my new BFF, I'd probably have to bribe my family members to be the contestants. But then, lately, I have had my share of hungry tigers in the reality show that is my life.
I like to help people. Always have. And this is one time I can throw humility away to mention the following points (deserve bullets):
- I have given a break to many a people who otherwise probably wouldn't have had that break in their lives
- Mentored numerous folks. Out of interest and because I liked doing that- not because of professional obligations. Some hand holding and later many- indirectly as I figured hand holding wasn't too empowering for them
- Professionally helped others by going out of the way when I need not have
- I think it is more important to be there in someone's sorrow, troubles and needs than on other occasions
At the same time, I can proudly (and at the same time regrettably) say that I haven't had a mentor in my professional space and know all that I know all by myself and have picked most stuff from the 'streets'.
Anyways - with that background- back to the topic. Lately I met my share of "hungry tigers"- from business men wanting to set something up in Singapore- to ad agencies wanting to expand into digital- to guys looking for jobs in the region- to people (apparently) wanting to finance any business ventures that I might have- and to people wanting me to help them market their ventures for free (!).
I spent time with all of them (at many occasions - unreasonable amounts)- mostly because I felt I should if I could, and sometimes because of my foolhardy enthusiasm to meet people. (I forget I am not Paris Hilton with the luxury of riches).
Thankfully these folks show me the ways of the world more often than not.
Like the guy seeking my help in understanding the Singapore Digital Media Marketing landscape. Wonder of wonders? We had never met. He is from a company trying to assess market situation in Singapore for ad sales.
After a few occasions of seeking information, (which they would not have easily got from anywhere otherwise), he thanked me (over chat) and vanished. Only to appear in a forum in Singapore. All he said was "You are Shalabh....Chasing The Storm..hmm..." (!). Thanks buddy. For the next time my charges are $300 per hour for a minimum of 10 hours. Oh and by the way- don't apply for the new reality series of My BFF- Ms Hilton doesn't like 'hungry tigers'.
Or another guy wanting to acquire clients in Singapore market for his marketing services company. Visiting Singapore from abroad. Reference a acquaintance. Spent half a day with him and a dinner. He went back and not a word since. Not even a 'like it' on FB status message. Would I think twice if I had the opportunity to do business with them?
Or the guy whom I met in a conference. Seemed to be lost in Singapore when it came to buying IT products.
Felt bad for him. Imagined I was in Taiwan looking for Vegetarian food in the streets at night time. "No can't let that happen to an acquaintance..."
I was free that evening after work and spent some time specially visiting Funan with him. Then bye bye. The guy put me in his company's mailing list (which is only about the conferences his company is attending BTW- and not some informative stuff- to rub salt on wounds)- Wham! Bam! Thank you Ma'm.
And I think I can't even mention how many times has this happened now. People contacted through referrals and friends or social networks- mostly looking for quick assistance- professional or otherwise- and then disappear- as if a literal vanishing cream has come out in the market that does the trick.
And no- it has nothing to do with my body odor (at least I don't think so)
Now I do not expect anything from them. And am surely not fishing for gratitude or anything. But it had started happening too often in the past few months. And it seems being "professional" and being "social" are two mutually exclusive things.
Felt like Betty in Archie comics. And that's not cool. Use her to do your homework or worse- kiss Veronica?
Now here is the funny part- many of these guys are from the digital marketing industry or belong to a 'social media marketing' set up. Clearly now I know where does the phrase "A sweetmaker never eats his own sweets" comes from.
Cartoon by Dave Walker.
Real life socializing is more complex than virtual one with many different aspects of personality and expectations at play.
So friends- while many of you think Ms Hilton to be a bimbo, I got a good lesson from her talk ("Huuuge"- as she refers to something really 'cool' or 'happening'). And move over Betty. From now on- Here comes Reggie Mantle.
thumbnail courtesy Archiecomics.com
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