Primates often squat together in the forest to pick parasites and stuff out of each other's fur. It's a heavily researched phenomenon known as social grooming. We humans do it too - getting haircuts together, taking an eyelash off a lover's cheek, helping a friend pick out clothes.
But when physical space separates us we adapt the behavior to the Internet.
The Poke on Facebook, still a popular feature of Zuckerberg's evil empire, perfectly demonstrates the phenomenon.
Poke Me
"Almost all animals self-groom, but social grooming, or allo-grooming (the grooming of another individual), is less common outside the primates." (Dunbar)
Primatologists believe that allo-grooming has less to do with hygiene than it does with social bonding. The intimacy of picking at a friend's fur builds trust and allegiance. Further proving the political motive, research shows that primates who groom individuals of a higher social status do it for the same reason you brown nose with your boss.
Our evolutionary ancestors seem to care about getting LinkedIn almost as much as we do.
A Particularly Touching Speech
Where touch is lacking, we also use gossip to build rapport with people and strengthen our social bonds.
"Speech allows us both to interact with a number of individuals simultaneously (grooming is a strictly one-on-one activity) and to exchange information about the state of our social network." (Dunbar)
At its best we use language to resolve complex debates of international relevance. More commonly, we use it on friends' Facebook photo albums, making comments like: "OMG. You look so cute in this picture ."
On Social Networks
On Twitter social grooming takes the form of direct messages, of Retweets, and of thanking other users for Retweets. Except for the elite celebrities, most users need to consistently Retweet content posted by other users to receive the same attention.
"Primates are thought to be motivated to perform allogrooming partially by reciprocity; they 'expect' some benefit in return from those that they groom and/or the larger population." (Krueger and Jin)
On Facebook social grooming is so pervasive it's almost comical. Consider all the fluffing, preening, and back patting that passes between us there.
Users openly display their social capital by promoting their lifestyles in their photo albums. Whenever a user is identified in a photo, as if to simulate the sense of touch, it's even called "tagging." Although "tag" directly means "label," it has an additional connotation, like, "Tag, you're it."
People rarely post on Facebook about their challenges and difficulties. Instead they each manage their public image with posts that reflect positively on themselves.
"We can use language to advertise ourselves: Look at all my wonderful qualities as a potential mate or ally. " (Dunbar)
On Altruism
Does this mean that all of us are self-serving? That what appears as an altruistic behavior when we comment on a friend's picture is really about sustaining our own social network? Partly, yes, at least on the level of instinct.
But the fact is: human beings do stand apart from the primates. And even though our basic urges may be self-serving, by raising awareness about our instincts we can grow beyond them.
Or at least learn to use them better to our advantage.