Like all good-hearted people, I don't like Donald Trump very much. Whether it's the philosophy of unearned excess or the callous attitude towards others or the, you know, shameless racism and sexism, he just rubs me, and a lot of other people, the wrong way. So it was hard not to quiver with schadenfreude when Trump opened up a question and answer session on his rather infamous Twitter account under the hashtag #AskTrump.
We all know how these things go. If you are in any way a polarizing public figure, Twitter Q&As are almost guaranteed to backfire. Just ask E.L. James. The social network is just too open, too easy, and too hard to moderate to avoid the kind of backlash that Trump experienced.
According to the Huffington Post, more than 50,000 tweets came in under the #AskTrump tag, with only a small percentage of them being legitimate policy questions, some of which Trump answered by video.
The rest of the tweets were ... less serious in nature. One might wish to resist the urge to promote those who make a mockery of something as serious as politics. But who am I kidding? We all know why you're here. On to the good stuff!
Some tweets went the obvious route and made fun of Trumps hair, which remains a cheap, and hilarious, way to mock him:
#AskTrump Why is it that you're a millionaire and your hair look like you just came out of a circus tent?- Vivian Spencer (@VivianSpencer14) September 21, 2015
Others touched on his often citrus-fruit-like appearance:
#AskTrump if you dig under your hair, down thru the scalp, underneath the skull, is there just a bunch of orange chicken from Panda Express- Jim Gabriel (@flipyourface) September 21, 2015
#AskTrump why you look like you smashed your face in a bowl of Doritos?- dankey kang (@mailsatan) September 21, 2015
Others addressed the more important matter that the leading candidate for president of one of the major American political parties is a bit of a racist:
#AskTrump Why did your casino managers have to hide the black employees whenever you popped in for a visit?- Mededitor (@Mededitor) September 21, 2015
So a Muslim, a woman, and a Mexican walk in a bar, who's rights do you alienate first? #AskTrump- Allie♛ (@Anoudaldosari_) September 21, 2015
#AskTrump do you hate Mexicans because most of us have that natural tan glow and you can't achieve that without looking like an orange?- Flori (@florislay) September 21, 2015
Hey, that last one combined two jokes!
Others went for glorious absurdity:
#asktrump As the head of Slytherin do you feel your association to Voldemort will hinder your chances at becoming the muggle president?- Rob Eric (@roberic1) September 21, 2015
Where is your island that you hunt people on? #AskTrump- Johnny Roque (@johnnyroque) September 21, 2015
If I eat myself will I be twice as big as I was or disappear completely? #AskTrump- Anita Sarawak (@AnitaSarawak) September 21, 2015
Will this Twitter disaster hurt Trump? Could this backlash slow the momentum of a campaign that shows no signs of stopping even in the face of gaffes that would demolish other campaigns?
No. No, of course not. Considering the way American politics now works, this won't change or mean anything at all.