A while back, I had an awkward little Linked In situation. Someone asked me to help one of his friends get a job, and I really didn't know the person asking me that well, and one degree of separation further just really seemed way too much. I told him that I couldn't very well recommend someone I didn't know and hadn't worked with, so that was that. There's a very good chance I annoyed my contact, but hey - what can you do? When it comes to making recommendations, it's your reputation on the line as well.
So this brings me to the idea of online "friends" and "contacts." When someone asks me to friend them, I've always used the rule of thumb that I wouldn't friend anyone that I wouldn't want to have coffee or lunch with. This works in that I'm able to friend people like recruiters or other people that are good contacts to have, but that I might not really know very well.
It also keeps me from friending people that I might have regular contact with, but I generally either don't like or respect. I've found it's more trouble to have people like that in your friend list than to just not have them. You never know when someone is going to ask you to either introduce you to the person, or ask you what you think of their work, or something else equally as sticky. Why bring that on yourself?
But my rule didn't protect me from the contact mentioned above putting me into a situation I didn't want to be in, and me potentially hurting his feelings or worse, making him downright angry. What's a social networker to do?
I've been thinking about it, and I really don't think there's an answer. Being social will bring a certain amount of socially awkward situations, so we just do the best we can. Either online or in the real world, sticky situations will exist.
A recent article in the New Yorker, "Social Studies" in the Sept 17, 2007 issue, touches on this topic. It says that most kids who are coming into college at NYU are already members of Facebook, and already have a pre-existing network of friends. While this is good in some ways (security, less anxiety), it limits the people you'll making connections with in the real world, and it totally removes the serendipitous aspect of making those lifelong college friends.
It also gives kids a real dose of the new kind of social awkwardness - that is - translating offline friendships into real world ones.
This post is getting long, so I'll pick up on this topic tomorrow. Happy Wednesday.
link to original post
So this brings me to the idea of online "friends" and "contacts." When someone asks me to friend them, I've always used the rule of thumb that I wouldn't friend anyone that I wouldn't want to have coffee or lunch with. This works in that I'm able to friend people like recruiters or other people that are good contacts to have, but that I might not really know very well.
It also keeps me from friending people that I might have regular contact with, but I generally either don't like or respect. I've found it's more trouble to have people like that in your friend list than to just not have them. You never know when someone is going to ask you to either introduce you to the person, or ask you what you think of their work, or something else equally as sticky. Why bring that on yourself?
But my rule didn't protect me from the contact mentioned above putting me into a situation I didn't want to be in, and me potentially hurting his feelings or worse, making him downright angry. What's a social networker to do?
I've been thinking about it, and I really don't think there's an answer. Being social will bring a certain amount of socially awkward situations, so we just do the best we can. Either online or in the real world, sticky situations will exist.
A recent article in the New Yorker, "Social Studies" in the Sept 17, 2007 issue, touches on this topic. It says that most kids who are coming into college at NYU are already members of Facebook, and already have a pre-existing network of friends. While this is good in some ways (security, less anxiety), it limits the people you'll making connections with in the real world, and it totally removes the serendipitous aspect of making those lifelong college friends.
It also gives kids a real dose of the new kind of social awkwardness - that is - translating offline friendships into real world ones.
This post is getting long, so I'll pick up on this topic tomorrow. Happy Wednesday.
link to original post
