I had a bit of a happy challenge recently. Someone was really pressuring me to contribute to a website they help run. Truth be told, it was starting to get to be a bit much so I really needed to have another heart to heart with them.

I told him how much I admired his persistence and I also told him how flattered I was. My only issue was that I felt he wasn't hearing me to which he replied "Paul I hear you just fine" and he made yet another attempt.

Here's how things played out from there . . .

Paul: "You know I have a pretty active Linkedin Group right?"

Persistent Dude: "Sure do. I'm a member"

Paul: "I know you are and we'll get back to that in a minute. You know I have a fairly popular sales blog right?"

Persistent Dude: "Alright. I give up Castain, where is this going?"

Paul: "I never see you contribute to either one and yet you continually break my balls about contributing to your site"

Persistent Dude: "It's nothing personal Paul. I'm just really busy"

Paul: "And that's my point. Do you think I'm sitting around playing with the dinger on the cash register all day? I'm busy too! It aint all about you and your website dude!"

So we came to an understanding and were able to truly part as friends. I would even venture to say that two "Type A's" were able to leave that conversation with their egos in tact until . . .

I had a major freakin "Aha"

I was sitting there thinking about how I told him "It aint about you and your website" and then I realized that in my own way I might be what experts call a "hypocriticizer" (do you remember that line from Harold and Kumar?)

I'm pointing the finger at this dude and meanwhile:

I have people who comment on my blog regularly and I don't return the courtesy by at least visiting their blog.

I have active members of my linkedin group who also have groups and I haven't even stopped by to at least check it out.

So I hung my head (seriously I felt like crap) and kind of felt like that kid you hung out with in middle school who only wanted to hang out at their house. I made the following note in my journal:

"It's not about you Paul . . . in what ways can you contribute to their party?"

And I started to change a few things that quite frankly, I had been screwing up.

Building "community" is critical when you embrace social media tools.

I'm just wondering if we are missing a bigger picture when that community resides only at our "house"

Gotta go visit some people now!

What are your thoughts?