Let's be honest, there are multiple ways to annoy a SMEG - link your Facebook, Tumblr and Foursquare accounts to Twitter; use too many hashtags on Instagram; confuse your and you're. They're all good. Have you noticed how touchy the humble SMEG is about time though? Here's how you can use time to annoy them in three easy steps.
Retweet breaking news of a celebrity's death 4 hours after it's become a trending topic
I've noticed a timeframe develop around celebrity death announcements - it only takes about 15 minutes for the majority of your news feed to be inundated with RTs and RIPs as the collective discover the shocking news together. This quickly moves on to the reactions (and more than likely the jokes). By the time Mashable have already published their article on other celebrities reacting to the death you should be primed to announce the news yourself.
How you'll know it's worked: the SMEG has tweeted something about the stupidity in Twitter mourning a stranger, probably not long after your BREAKING NEWS retweet. Congratulations! You were the straw that broke the camel's back!
Share something of interest with them days after it was published
If your SMEG is actually in social media marketing (not as common as you'd think) then it's their job to figure out how to make people share interesting things with their personal networks to harness the almighty power of word of mouth. Please do not mistake this as an invitation to share something with them though as they have already seen everything the internet has to offer. Unless you're looking to annoy them of course.
How you'll know it's worked: In their comment reply they'll find a creative way to thank you but make it clear they've already seen it. Bonus points if they tell you by how many hours.
Announce something on Facebook after you've already told them offline
This one does reach beyond the SMEG to a more generally accepted social dynamic. While they may be slightly more subtle than posting FIRST! on your update, they'll make it damn clear to everyone else that they knew the news before the "it's not official til it's Facebook official" announcement. Engagements, pregnancies and new jobs are the best bait for this.
How you'll know it's worked: The person will comment with something like "I've already celebrated with you but congratulations again!" to firmly stamp their inner circle badge of honour all over your update.
Got any more tips on how to rile up the not-so-humble SMEG?
