If you watch the show, House, you have heard his character say, "Everybody lies.", which provides the catalyst for doctors to conduct detective-like sleuthing and discovery of what really ails the patient.

Here is the lie about listening. It goes something like this...

"I'm listening. Really. Keep talking."

This may seem like a little white lie; after all; you (like me) have learned to multi-task - you listen to music, read your email, surf the web, review your mental 'to do' list, all at once and pause when you need to dial up listening. I do it; you do it too.

Unfortunately that doesn't work with your best customers. They know. They see right through you. It may seem OK for them to half-listen, but not for you. Here are the truths:

Truth # 1: Your ears only capture part of the message.

That's too bad if you only have a telephone to connect to your customers. It's even worse, if they are trying to reach you by iChat or some instant messaging customer service line, and you have only your eyes to take in the message.

Implication: If you assume you are only capturing part of the message, you can drive yourself to summarize what you have heard and ask what you are missing.

Truth # 2: Listening requires conscious choice and self-discipline

The best listeners tell others when they have their full attention, then demonstrate that commitment. They also tell you up front when you do not have their full attention. The worst listeners don't realize that they can make you feel unimportant and undervalued by their own urgency to multi-task.

Implication: There is a saying, "People may not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel." Much the same can be said of listening: People will remember if you were the type of person who really listened when they spoke to you and how you made them feel if you weren't listening.

Truth # 3: At times you need to listen as much for what is not said as what is said.

My friend Luc is French and has consulted around much of the world. He once advised me, "If you want to work with French executives, you have to learn to listen as much to what they don't say as what they do say." Thoughtful attention to nuance and a quick mind seem to be important components of listen in this case.

Implication: You can't discover the story behind the story if you aren't paying attention to what is said and what is not being said. Listening is much more than repeating back what is said.