Bloggers have commemorated the one-year anniversary of the LED scare in Boston with at least one notable omission: the stunt was stupid, the perpetrators stupider, and claims of it being an act of misunderstood artistic expression stupidest.
The gig was the result of corporate marketers trying just about anything to be seen as edgy and relevant. The Cartoon Network's Aqua Teen Hunger Force program hired Interference, Inc., to make waves, and the agency delivered a campaign as elegantly simple as it was ignorant: frames that look like sheets of Lego covered with LED lights that lit up a cartoon figure holding up its middle finger.
These devices were then placed under bridges and in other public areas. The point was to create a buzz among the hip insiders who would recognize the character.
Instead, everyone else noticed it, and it scared them to death.
The Boston police discovered what it thought was a campaign not to sell a cartoon show, but rather a terrorist plot to blow things up. Panic ensued. Officers didn't know if the devices were armed, and word spread of the campaign in imperfect drips and drabs. The mainstream news got the story wrong. It took too long to figure out that the entire escape was a harmless, if ill-conceived, prank.
According to bloggers, the police and media were jerks. It was art, and the reaction of the authorities evidenced their small-mindedness, fear-mongering, and general imperfections as human beings. The schmarty-pants reactions started appearing within hours of the event.
Now, a year later, there's more of it: commemorative stickers and T-shirts, learned analyses that compare it to the panic of the Salem witch trials, and reports of other artistes inspired to tweak anybody responsible for public safety. I'm sure the agency schnooks responsible for the event have profitably marketed themselves to other corporate clients in desperate search of cool.
I want to be cool, too. So here are a few ideas for visionary companies or hungry artists to consider:
- Place older men in long trenchcoats outside elementary schools. Maybe A&F or other clothing business could use it to promote a new fashion line
- Create fake bank statements that notify retirees that they're broke, which could be used to sell financial services. And remember the benefits of sending white powder in the mail
- Replace food on store shelves with packaging featuring skulls, crossbones, and warnings of poison, and then announce a promotion for a new cheese spread
And there's always the dependability of a good 'ol fashioned yelling fire in a crowded theater.
Oh, there are so many ways to freak out people who must be on guard all the time, constantly aware that they don't know what exactly to expect, and who feel the burden of protecting the rest of us. Those dolts! Too bad all of the truly smart citizens are artists or critics, who can busy themselves with asserting freedom of expression.
The truth is that the stunt was stupid, if not downright scary. The reaction to it illustrated how ill-prepared our society is for terror, and how scared and overburdened (and yes, perhaps sometimes ill-qualified) our authorities and institutions are to protect us.
But nobody is talking about that. The agency responsible for the stupidity is probably already planning its next award-winning stunt. I know that other self-styled artists have already been so inspired.
So much for the wisdom of crowds.
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